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May 12, 2006 ... Buzz Fugazi
11:35 am January 2, 1995
Helter Shelter
Carbondale, IL
DISPATCH
From: Johnny the gun, Secretary of Offense.
To: Democratic National Committee c/o Pete "the infiltrator" Dagher, Dictator.
RE: Total victory in '96
It's so simple and pure it scares me. The formula for total victory is easy to make as pop tarts. Balancing the giant butter knife to pull out the pop tart undamaged---without getting electrocuted by a plugged in political system---that's the tricky part.
Will Big Bill get impeached by Whitewatergate? That's the GOP's best shot, if you ask me. What is this scandal, at worst, supposed to be?
A nickle and dime version of big time Funny Money Capers that ravaged the Federal Treasury during the '80s when Bush was too caught up in secret deals.
Nobody wanted to wake up Reagan from his nap, or his adoring crowds, or his wife's astrologer, or his wild west photo opportunities, or any other Hollywood dreamland that is the mind of that former President.
I always said those idiots were damned if they did, damned if they didn't. They either knew the scam, ran the scam, or failed to protect against it. Either way, the treasury got looted on their shift while they gave a ton of lip service to fiscal responsibility.
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